Happiness Is a Warm Gun
by DWhoovian
Summary: Short Stories in the Saints Row series. While I work on the real deal, these little things appear.
1. Yesterday

**Yesterday...**

She was ordered to follow her. She could have easily said no, but she didn't. She just obeyed. That's how people work. That's how humans function. When someone of higher authority tells you to do something, you _listen. _It's how humans have survived this world. It's how the Saints survived Stillwater. But Shaundi knew that if she just didn't listen to the boss for once, she could have saved their friend, her hero. The Boss watched Shaundi enter the room, poised and pissed _like always._ "You ready?" Shaundi heard the boss, but she couldn't answer her. Not now. Not when they just lost Johnny. "I've been ready." The Boss said, holding her gun to her chest. "Let's kill that bastard." Pierce said, smiling at Shaundi. Shaundi only nodded. "You aren't the only one who was shaped by what happened, Shaun." Pierce whispered to her. "The Boss has been a bit on edge since the gang started territory here." Shaundi's gaze averted to her boss, who was sitting on the bench preparing magazines. "She doesn't seem phased by her best friend dying." Shaundi's voice was husky from the past. All of those Loa Bulb circles and chain smoking days caused her voice to be raspy. Shaundi had thought about picking up an actual bong or pipe, to try and forget the day they lost Johnny Gat. But she couldn't do that to the group. _Disease _them like she did before. Pierce was watching her thoughts whir to life in her head and smiled at her. "I've gotta say... Ever since the day we got into the Saints, I tried to prove myself worthy of Johnny and the Boss." Shaundi glared at him, raising an eyebrow. "You didn't do a very good job. Johnny hated you and Boss wanted you to shut the hell up whenever you opened your mouth." Pierce chuckled. "Yeah, but you listened to me." Shaundi blushed, not looking up at Pierce. "Yeah... Guess I did. That was a fucking mistake." Pierce pushed himself off of the railing, following Shaundi into the next room. "I always thought the girl in dreads was pretty cute." Shaundi shook her head. "You are **not **fucking _serious _right now!" Pierce raised an eyebrow, shocked at her answer. "You are hitting on me when Johnny is _dead!_ Are you fucking serious right now, Pierce!" Pierce shrugged. "Come on, Shaun! He's been gone for months now!" She shook her head, giving up on him was the best she could do right now. But Pierce didn't want her to. Pierce ran up her before she ran off, grabbing her arms and smiling at her. "Come on, Shaundi... Why are you still upset?" Shaundi shook her head. But sighed when she opened her mouth. "He _needed _me... He needed help. We could have gone back and saved him. Instead, we lost him... Johnny's gone. I can't sit around and smile when it's my fault." Shaundi rested her head on Pierce's chest, her breath shaky. She heard the porch door open and saw Boss walk in. A grimace was her face and Shaundi knew why. But no words were exchanged. Shaundi wrapped her arms around Pierce, swaying slowly as she heard the soft tune.

_Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away_

_Now it looks as though they're here to stay_

_Oh, I believe in yesterday_

_Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be_

_There's a shadow hanging over me._

_Oh, Yesterday came suddenly._

_Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say_

_I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday_

_Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play_

_Now I need a place to hide away_

_Oh, I believe in yesterday_

_Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say_

_I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday_

_Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play_

_Now I need a place to hide away_

_Oh, I believe in yesterday._


	2. Bradshaw and Gat: Rumors

**So I figured out what my problem is. ****_I have fixed it! _****It should make the story easier to read.**

**This one is kind of based in Saints Row 2, a little bit near Saints Row 3.**

**The Boss, Joey, is having a bit of trouble with the Saints being popular. Famous, almost. It's what every celebrity wishes they could do without having issues, right?**

**Amanda Bynes did it and now there's a bunch of hate towards her.**

**Enjoy. :)**

* * *

"The Gang grew into an empire in a matter of months. I sometimes wish that I could just close my eyes and be back on the Row. Smoking a blunt with a very stoned Shaundi."

"And you want your fans to see you like that?" The reporter asked. At first, this interview seemed like a great idea. Let everyone know that the boss didn't grow soft over the years. But now, she was feeling like this was an overstep.

"Shit. Who cares what my fans think? I'm not living for them, I'm living for _me_. And my Saints." Joey could see Shaundi just smacking herself in the face. Pierce had this idea that if they just sent Joey out for the interview, that she would get the reporter of their back. Now she was ruining the interview, just like everything else.

"There are rumors about You and Johnny Gat... are they-"

"False. Of course. Johnny has been through alot since we came back, and I'm not going to disrespect Aisha like that. I'm not that low." She had heard all of the rumors before. _Johnny and Boss: Friends or more?_ Or the _other _headline, _Johnny: Not just another Saint?_ God, it made her cringe.

"How about the rumors between You and Police Chief, Troy Bradshaw?"

Joey cringed at that name. Yeah, they dated. But their relationship lasted only until she was blown up.

"I can only say as much as my lawyer wants me to. The Chief of Police was once a very close friend. _Once._ He doesn't need a gangbanging girlfriend to _boss _him around. He's got his right hand for that." The laughter and snickers soon started up behind the set. The Reporter wasn't going to sit there for much longer.

"Ok... We'll straight to commercial with _that._ I'm Lois Byrd. We'll be back with the Saints Leader, after this." The grimace on Byrd's face told Joey that she went too far.

"OK. A bit much... But we'll deal with that in editing. So I'm gonna go get a drink. Try not to blow the place up, Ok?"

"Profiling? Really? Lois Byrd, I think I can control myself. Besides..." Her red lipstick emphasizing her smirk.

"My lieutenants made me leave my guns at home." Lois growled and walked back to the mini bar. Drinking was on her mind. And it had to happen _fast._

"Ph-phone call for Miss-" Joey stood up, reaching her hand up to the man. "I'm right here... Give me the fucker."

"Hello?" She said, obviously prepared for a pissed off Troy.

_"You had to do that? Really?"_

"Oh Mister Chief of Police, What_ever_ do you mean?" She gave an innocent tone, but deep down she was laughing.

"_My right hand? Really? You just want to get shot, don't you?"_

His tone was angry, but she knew he wasn't. "Oh, but _Sweetheart, _You know me. I was going to say _worse._"

_"Well thank you for censoring yourself, but I am pretty sure I will be calling out of work tomorrow."_

"Because of my comment? Jesus, Troy, lighten up!" She heard silence and sighed, "OK. I'm sorry. Any plans tomorrow?"

_"Actually yeah I do. I'm going to get groceries."_

"Groceries? Lame."

_"You say that now, but later you'll be begging me to go."_

"Why are you going tomorrow? Can't you do that some other time?"

_"Because someone got stoned and ate the fridge. I can live off of Freckle Bitches... But I don't think I would want to."_

"I'm sorry... I didn't know that _our_ fridge had a time limit."

_"Well then when you get home, could you please do me a favor? Not eat anything until at least Saturday?"_

Joey gave an annoying sigh. Today was Monday. "Fine. I'll go shopping later. I have to go, they're calling me back."

_"Kay. No more jokes. Please."_

"Why would I do that?" She said, hanging up the phone and walking to the couch. The camera started rolling and Lois was already talking about the Saints.

* * *

"Ok. I didn't know that she was going to _not _edit out or at least _bleep _out what I said about you. OK?"

She looked up at Troy, who was rolling his eyes and drinking a beer. "She also stated before you got on there that whatever was said would be shown on TV."

Yet, there they were. Spooning on the big couch she bought, watching the recorded interview on their shitty TV.

"Why did you record this if it contained a _shot_ to your manhood?"

Troy smiled and wrapped his arm around her. "Because it was _you. _Not like I would record it if it was Johnny saying that shit."

Joey chuckled and looked at the screen. "Yeah, but if that were Johnny being asked that... Shit, that lady would've been dead."

Troy looked down at how they were. On the big ass couch that Joey spent over budget on while watching shitty TV. No one knew that they were living together. Troy worked at night and she usually left the house early. Since she was officially a Spokesperson for the shitty Saints Flow drink they had. She looked at the poster of her holding the drink and grimaced.

"Why is _that_ on our wall?" She asked, getting up to go tear it down. She was completely unaware that she was naked. But she didn't care. She would rather be tearing it down _now_ than later when the Saints were there.

"I thought it looked good." He explained, obviously lying. "The last thing I need in my apartment is a poster of Saints fucking Flow."

"Fine. I'll tear it down tomorrow. Let's go to bed." Troy got up, wrapping the blanket around Joey and picking her up.

"I'm not tired." She yawned. Smiling wide as Troy carried her off to the bedroom.


	3. Grateful For You

This is a storyline that I had for a while. It's sort of OC and it's very sad. It gives Joey a chance to bond with Johnny more. **Please don't hate this. Thanks**

* * *

"What the _hell?"_

Johnny wandered into the apartment, greeted by Nocturnes No. 2 in E flat major. He raised an eyebrow at this. He never saw the boss as one to enjoy classical music. Especially _this._ Her radio consisted of Gangsta Bitch, Opposites Attract, What I Got. But not _this_. And the way Joey looked while this music played astonished him even more.

"What?" Joey asked, her usual braided pink pigtails were now in a french braid. Her usual apocalyptic attire was changed to a long dress that looked nearly Renaissance. Her makeup, which was messy most of the time, was now flawless and perfected. Johnny gave a small smirk.

"Didn't know you enjoyed dressup."

Joey punched his arm, causing Johnny to flinch a bit. "It's... for a wedding... Why are you even here? Shouldn't you be back on the ship?"

"I followed you. What are you doing here?"

Joey looked out the window, seeing the beautiful garden. "I need this... You don't understand, Johnny."

"What don't I understand? You're at a wedding in a different a timeline. Whose wedding?"

Joey inhaled a deep sigh, than smiled when she heard a female voice. "Josephine?"

"In here!"

Johnny raised an eyebrow at Joey.

A fragile looking female walked through the doors, wearing white with a small veil on her head. Short brown hair, deep brown eyes.

Johnny was shocked. Not because the woman was obviously wearing a wig.

But because she looked exactly like Joey.

In a deep french accent, the woman spoke.

"You are beautiful. I'm so glad you came today."

Joey looked at the woman. "You're Welcome... Mom."

Johnny's eyes widened and scratched his head. Joey never mentioned her parents. The last thing he heard about them was that her mother was remarrying her father.

"Who is this? A friend of your's?"

Joey grabbed Johnny's hand and looked at him. "Mom... this is Johnny. I told you about him."

Joey's Mother smiled just like Joey. With a frail hand, she grabbed Johnny's and shook it.

"Pleasure to meet you, Mister Gat. Joey always speaks about you. I'm glad you're OK."

Johnny smiled and looked at Joey. "Pleasure to meet you too, Madam. I'm gonna go get changed." He said softly, walking out.

* * *

Hours later, Johnny wandered the halls to find Joey on the balcony, overlooking the city.

"She looks like you."

His words caused her to look up, and she knew he was waiting for an explanation.

"I figured if I just made the wedding happen sooner, I could attend it. See her smile one last time."

Johnny looked at her, then back at the city.

"You could've told me."

She averted her gaze to him.

"That she died."

Joey looked angry. "She died way after you disappeared. I visited her everyday when you were gone. Shaundi and Pierce thought I was visiting Troy. He was there though, all the time."

Johnny's vein on his neck started to show, and Joey sighed.

"She was so excited. Finally having the money to remarry my father. She even called me the minute her bank account hit the budget."

Joey laughed, "'Josephine! Josephine! There's gonna be a wedding soon!'"

"How much money did you give her?"

Joey smiled at Johnny, then allowed a sigh to escape from her lips. "half my life savings. When I found out that she had not much time left, I made sure the wedding was going to happen. But then-"

"It didn't."

Joey nodded. "She died the week before. We were so excited to finally do this. I would walk her down the aisle and give her off to my actual dad. Not the stepfather that would hurt us. We didn't notice how frail and sick she really was."

Johnny held onto her hand, knowing any moment she would break down. "Did you tell her I was dead?"

"Yes. When You 'died', I called her. She heard about you. She didn't care at first, but I told her what you did for me. She was grateful. Grateful for you."

Johnny looked down, then smiled. "I never knew you were french..."

Joey raised an eyebrow. "Really? I swear in french sometimes..."

She was obviously lying. Johnny rolled his eyes.

"How come she's got an accent and you have a pure american going on?"

Joey smiled and pressed her head against his chest. "She raised me here... That's like asking why you look Asian but speak English."

Johnny chuckled, kissing her hair as he lead her back to the party.

The woman smiled, running up to Joey and Johnny.

"I am so glad you came to my wedding, Mister Gat. Josephine missed you so much when you went missing."

"Mom!" Joey blushed, grabbing her hand. "Come on... Let's go dance. I need a beer."

"Josephine, you know alcohol isn't good for you."

Joey looked at Johnny, then smiled at her mom. "Can't I have a beer with my mother for once?"

"What if you get sick?"

"Sophia Elise, I am tougher than you think!"

Sophia smiled at her daughter, something was off about her. Usually Joey only wanted to fight. But right now, she was being treated like a princess. "Are you ok? Are you pregnant?"

Joey blushed, "Mom, please have a beer with me."

"Can't we do that later?"

Joey shook her head. "You might not be around later..."

The hint of sadness triggered something in Sophia. She knew Joey was right. Joey was always right. Sophia gave a small smile and rolled her eyes. "Fine. But I'm paying."

"Whatever..."

Johnny watched as Joey bonded with her mom. He never knew about Jo's family. In fact, he assumed they were either dead or horrible enough to etch out of the picture. But watching Joey with Sophia, it was like he missed out on getting to know this part of her. The one that actually cared for her family and wanted them to thrive. Johnny then took a swig of his beer and smiled.

* * *

Johnny was back on the ship, taking a well deserved nap, when he heard Shaundi's voice.

"You looked amazing."

Johnny stood up and followed the voice. Smiling when he saw Joey and Shaundi looking at pictures.

"Johnny met her... I'm so glad that he came with me. I needed her to meet him before she passed away."

Shaundi smiled at her, drinking wine. "I can't Johnny went to a wedding!"

"I can't believe he didn't set the chapel on fire."

She smiled at her friend as the familiar tune that played at the chapel played through the computer.

Johnny walked in, looking at Joey. "Am I interrupting something?"

Joey shook her head and handed him the scrapbook. "I thought you were too drunk to stand?"

Johnny chuckled. "I'm never too drunk."

Shaundi left the room, and Johnny smiled at Joey.

"I think I can find a good song for us to enjoy."

Joey raised her eyebrow and her eyes followed Johnny to the computer. He pressed a couple buttons and soon Goo Goo Dolls started to play.

"I love this song..."

Johnny grabbed her hand and brought her up. He smiled as Joey sang along to a soft melody.

"_You bleed just to know you're alive."_

She blushed when she felt Johnny's arms wrap in the most awkward way.

"Johnny... what are you doing?"

"I didn't dance with you at the wedding... I thought that you and your mom would rather talk. I think I owe you a dance."

Joey blushed deeper and looked away.

"Johnny, you really don't have to get out of your comfort zone for me."

"Fuck my comfort zone. You went out of your's yesterday to go to a wedding that never happened. I think I can give back for once."

They swayed, and for a minute, she thought it was a dream.

She yelped when Johnny went for a dip.

"For fuck's sake, Johnny... you're gonna drop me!" She giggled as he shook his head.

"Now why would I drop my boss?" He said softly.

Joey was lost in his eyes, she couldn't stop staring at him.

and he knew it too.

They stopped dancing and he just stared at her.

But before she could speak, he planted his lips on hers.

All she could do was relax and kiss him back.

This was what she wanted. Someone that actually knew where she was coming from. and for the first time in forever, she got just that.


End file.
